Wife insists on buying family a 4th SUV: 'I'm quitting my job if she buys a car'

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    AITAH for telling my wife I'm quitting my job, if she buys a car?
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    We have three vehicles. A 2010 truck that is rarely used and is a "back up vehicle". Her 2016 suv and my 2009 "beater" I drive to work. We recently managed to get them all paid off. They all run fine. We have been using the extra cash flow to pay down our "vacation" credit card so we can vacation around Christmas. She works, but it's a free lance job and comes with zero benefits. My
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    job is the one paying the bills, and keeping us healthy. She has being doing toddler math and has determined we can afford for her to sign a note on a newer vehicle. It is a big SUV with a v8, so her now 20ish mpg will go down to MAYBE 15. At first I tried to talk her out of it. Then I informed her that I will not be signing my name
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    to the note. She kept on saying she would work more. (We have played this game before, it only lasts a month or two). She kept on about this Tahoe, finally I got all the way fed up. This has gone on for weeks. So I told her if she signs the note for a new car, I was quitting my job. Edit: The
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    vacation card is used exclusively for vacations to protect us from fraud and scams. We do this because most people who fall victim to those sorry bastards are in big cities, which is where we vacation usually. I always pay it off upon return home, assuming no funny business happened on the transactions. HOWEVER her
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    father d unexpectedly, her mother could not afford the burial, so I paid for it instead of paying the vacation card off. Instead of resuming the vacation card payoff, I doubled down on the highest interest rates. The car auto loans. Now I resumed
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    doubling down on the vacation card with the auto loan payments gone, I use all of what would have been used on auto loans to pay the vacation card. I now owe less than $1000. Which will be taken care of next month. (Assuming she doesn't get the Tahoe) For all who are curious. This is a hill I'm willing to di on. If the ship sinks, it will sink in shambles and she can have her half of nothing.
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    Edit#2 Boy did this post gain traction! I will sort for top comments and answer a few questions. I plan to show her this post in the morning, so it can fester while I'm at work. After work I'm sure there will be quite a discussion over the matter. BOLO for an update by tomorrow evening.
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    Update: Ok folks, thank you all for the input, advice, and criticisms. When I walked in I did my usual. Let the dog jump around like a wild banshee, while I tried to pet her. Turned the corner, wife was standing there in a skimpy outfit ready to apologize the way a good wife should
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    properly apologize. Haha! Yeah right, she fired off a few remarks and scurried away. When we sat down to eat, I began talking about what things she wanted to hock off to pay bills after I quit. Not the best approach, but I wanted the conversation to start and end quickly. To my surprise,
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    it did, she spat off (in anger) "I'm not getting the effing car" I simply thanked her and dropped it. By the time we were finished eating she randomly said some thing to the effect of "I didn't realize how upset this was making you" i gave her the "out"
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    and again just thanked her and said ok. By the time I got ready for bed she was talking about some of the comments here and although she wouldn't say it, I know she knew she was making a terrible mistake. Very uneventful ending, considering the flame was near the fuse. When I
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    opened my safari, she had opened several of the resources/links left in the comments, and it is my hope that she realizes she has to make a change and will use them. I truly believe her seeing what other people are saying/thinking may have "opened her eyes" to the fact that I'm trying to get us ahead. Thank you all!
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    Many commenters sided with the original poster, saying that their wife would be spoiling their hard work by spending all their money now

    KTMEISTER NTA. If she wants it, then she needs to work more NOW to purchase it in cash LATER. You've spent probably years to become debt free, this is fiscally irresponsible. There's a difference between needs vs. wants. Wants can be saved for.
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    EngineerLostonPertam NTA She already has the newest car, if anything you replace the beater since it's the oldest. But the way things are with high payments now I wouldn't even do that if it runs good still. Save the money.
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    Heeler Haven NTA We had to replace my car. No choice, it needed replacing. We had a budget that we could afford to pay in full, if we went over that it would be financing, and we really didn't want to add a car payment to our financial planning. Finding the right
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    (used) car that came in on budget was difficult (thanks co id.....), especially with dealerships doing bait & switch and being generally unsavory...... guess what, I got an awesome car that's an upgrade to my old car, fits my needs better, gets much better gas mileage for long distances, and with
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    trade in and discounts came in just under our max budget. It doesn't have absolutely everything I wanted, but has everything I need, has been reliable for a few years now, and we didn't go into debt to get it.
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    If she is that desperate for a new car she needs to work more hours/bring in more income to clear existing debt. Then save up to buy her "dream status symbol" whilst being grateful she has a reliable, working vehicle in the meantime. Her way of financial thinking is a slippery slope to financial disaster - especially if your income is ever compromised.

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